Here we go again, another blog post.
It's been like, 6 months or so since the worst thing that can happen when you're in love happened to me...But then I was like, it's no big deal, I can still stay close to her and stick to her like glue even if I can't be her boyfriend anymore...But in the past 6 months I've realized that it's way more complicated than that. I've wondered why I didn't make the most of the time I had with her, and there's so much I've left unsaid. Maybe it was for the best, maybe if I had done those things and said those words, I'd make her feel worse than she feels. She had to go through much more pain than me, and compared to her, I got off easy. But now I'm lonely. Desperately lonely. I have great friends who always make me happy, but we all know that even best friends can't replace the person who calls you at night to see how you're doing and whom you can be on the phone with for hours without saying a thing... It's taken only 6 months for me to get rusted and weathered from being out in the open without anyone to shelter me from my own thoughts... I know she's doing her best to keep me happy, but she has her own loneliness to deal with I guess. At times she makes me as happy as I was those days... If you're reading this hon, I don't blame you, and don't blame yourself, k? You have nothing to do with me being a sad mental case:). Maybe I'll will heal, unlike in the song. But I'm not sure whether I'm going to fight or give up...
I feel I have to be true to the purpose of this blog and write at least some philosophy...I'll state an idea that a good friend of mine has told me repeatedly without knowing how much I mold my life according to that same idea; Expect the Unexpected. This philosophy seems to be so true that it's scary. Is it because humans tend to expect the impossible, so that what actually happens is the exact opposite? You know, I take every event in my life and break it down to see whether I expected that to happen. In 90% of cases, it turns out that I wasn't expecting what happened to happen. Am I alone in being messed with in this way?? I don't know. But my friend Yasara who always tells me to expect the unexpected has probably experienced this too. For example, I wasn't expecting to be cruelly wrenched from the person I loved in the way that it happened. I analyzed that event from every angle, I so wasn't expecting it to end the way it did. Whooops, looks like I'm heading back towards being sorry for myself again!!! I believe in 'expect the unexpected' so much, that I've trained myself to expect the worst thing that could happen with all my heart, so that something good will happen.This method has actually worked for me! Sadly I wasn't practicing that on that fateful day...But that's just me. Is it that weird theory about human aura that's at work here? Are we changing the world around us by the things we think, so that the opposite of what we think occurs? Or is this a form of intuition, as explained by the saying, 'Expect the Unexpected?'. Could we use this to predict the outcome of certain events, by predicting that what will actually happen will be the exact opposite of what we truly expect will happen? Now that sounds truly mental. :D I'm going to sleep before I go totally bonkers. Goodnight!!!
It's been like, 6 months or so since the worst thing that can happen when you're in love happened to me...But then I was like, it's no big deal, I can still stay close to her and stick to her like glue even if I can't be her boyfriend anymore...But in the past 6 months I've realized that it's way more complicated than that. I've wondered why I didn't make the most of the time I had with her, and there's so much I've left unsaid. Maybe it was for the best, maybe if I had done those things and said those words, I'd make her feel worse than she feels. She had to go through much more pain than me, and compared to her, I got off easy. But now I'm lonely. Desperately lonely. I have great friends who always make me happy, but we all know that even best friends can't replace the person who calls you at night to see how you're doing and whom you can be on the phone with for hours without saying a thing... It's taken only 6 months for me to get rusted and weathered from being out in the open without anyone to shelter me from my own thoughts... I know she's doing her best to keep me happy, but she has her own loneliness to deal with I guess. At times she makes me as happy as I was those days... If you're reading this hon, I don't blame you, and don't blame yourself, k? You have nothing to do with me being a sad mental case:). Maybe I'll will heal, unlike in the song. But I'm not sure whether I'm going to fight or give up...
I feel I have to be true to the purpose of this blog and write at least some philosophy...I'll state an idea that a good friend of mine has told me repeatedly without knowing how much I mold my life according to that same idea; Expect the Unexpected. This philosophy seems to be so true that it's scary. Is it because humans tend to expect the impossible, so that what actually happens is the exact opposite? You know, I take every event in my life and break it down to see whether I expected that to happen. In 90% of cases, it turns out that I wasn't expecting what happened to happen. Am I alone in being messed with in this way?? I don't know. But my friend Yasara who always tells me to expect the unexpected has probably experienced this too. For example, I wasn't expecting to be cruelly wrenched from the person I loved in the way that it happened. I analyzed that event from every angle, I so wasn't expecting it to end the way it did. Whooops, looks like I'm heading back towards being sorry for myself again!!! I believe in 'expect the unexpected' so much, that I've trained myself to expect the worst thing that could happen with all my heart, so that something good will happen.This method has actually worked for me! Sadly I wasn't practicing that on that fateful day...But that's just me. Is it that weird theory about human aura that's at work here? Are we changing the world around us by the things we think, so that the opposite of what we think occurs? Or is this a form of intuition, as explained by the saying, 'Expect the Unexpected?'. Could we use this to predict the outcome of certain events, by predicting that what will actually happen will be the exact opposite of what we truly expect will happen? Now that sounds truly mental. :D I'm going to sleep before I go totally bonkers. Goodnight!!!
